hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
