So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
