they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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