that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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