Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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