are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
