capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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