Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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