batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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