Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We left the knife in your bed.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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