Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
