Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
