Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
