Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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