Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she peed on how many people?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
