omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
