this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
