Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she was so not down for the gang bang
This girl is more easily done than said...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
