Don't you send me to vm
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
