She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
