The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
