He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
