I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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