I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
