Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
4 words: hood of his car
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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