I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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