i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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