We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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