You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
