Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
