turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
