haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
