At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
