I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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