No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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