haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
