i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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