So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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