i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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