Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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