Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
