drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Couch. On fire.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
