I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
