I hope mine doesn't look like that
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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