I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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