That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
