wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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