I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
