booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
