He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it was like eating out sand paper
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
